Posts Tagged ‘Men’s Fraternity’

Something every boy needs to hear

If you know me well, you know that I stay away from advice on parenting. I myself am not a parent and honestly, I don’t know as much as even the most amateur of parents. I am going to take a stab at something that every father needs to hear though. This is not optional, this is not something you can pass on because you are uncomfortable doing it, its something that is your responsibility and you need to do this. No questions asked.

Your son lives in a woman’s world. (no offense meant, mom’s) A father has a special God given job to be able to raise his boy as a man. The only qualified person to raise a son as a man is the father. There are certain things that go into the relationship between a son and a father that will last with him forever.

This has been on my heart as of recently since me and 15 guys began going through Men’s Fraternity. If you are in or have gone through this too, you’ll know what I am saying.

I think back to my own relationship with my father. While I had a great father, I know there were things that were never said and thus have left me empty. I knew my dad loved me, but I never heard him say it. I knew my dad was proud of me, but I never heard him say it. All the while what was unsaid has stuck with me this whole time. I can’t help but wonder whether or not was true. I don’t want to doubt it, but it is hard knowing something that was never said to my face.

A father’s bond with his son is priceless. It’s greater than any other bond on earth. Think about the bond between Christ and His Father. Do you think Jesus heard that his Father was proud of him? He did. In Matthew 3:17, we read “And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

In this one passage we see the Father saying, This is my Son! What an affirmation! To declare a boy as your son is lifting him up in a big way. Then he says, “whom I love”. There are those words. “Son, I love you.” Have  you done this recently? Then finally, “with him I am well pleased.” The Father is saying, look at the things he is doing. He’s good at what he does. Listen up!

Guys, this is not something you can just pass by. Your son needs this from you. He needs it often too. While I am no father, I am a son. I know how precious those times with dad are. I know how much it meant to hear my dad say, “Good Job!” I remember those times when dad and I stood in the back yard and tossed the baseball.

Only three things will set your son on the right path. He needs to hear three things from you: I love you, I am proud of you, and name what he is good at.Do this and you will raise your son into a man that is proud of his father.


What is a man?

If you type, “What is a man?” into a Google search, you get all sorts of answers. I was pretty surprised by this. Everyone seems to have their own definition of what manhood is. Maybe its loyalty, maybe its defined by strength, maybe its defined by order. Who really knows?

My wife and I sat behind the bench of the opponents team last night at our local Indoor Football League game. I bet if I were to ask their coach he would say he is a man. However, when I hear him throwing F-Bombs loud enough for the whole arena to hear including all the children in the crowd, I’d question his manhood. Or maybe I ask the  man who is beating his wife physically or emotionally. I bet he would say he is a man. Afterall, he is keeping order in his home. However, if you are reduced to this kind of activity to keep order, I would question his manhood as well.

Tonight we are beginning Quest for Authentic Manhood. Tonight we will begin our search for what a man is. We will soon determine who have graduated to manhood and who have not.

I look forward to this journey because I have never been told whether or not I am a man, I have just always assumed I am. Too many guys in this world have also assumed that they have achieved manhood. Are we wrong? Maybe. The important thing is that we know how to define what a man is and not just with words but also in everyday actions.

To leave you with some scripture from a someone who had to learn what it was to become a man, Paul. He says in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 14 Do everything in love.” This may be the simplest definition of manhood, but its a good one.

If you want to find out what it means to be a man, please check out