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From the garden to the playground to the man’s home, fear of rejection has pinned him down and he has wrestled with it all the days of his life. A man’s deepest fears are rooted in the fear of rejection. While confident in the workplace, confident around women, confident around his friends, this one act can take out his legs from beneath him.

Adam and Eve had the life they could only dream about in the garden. Everything was provided, everything was theirs. Well, almost everything. In the shade of the evening the serpent was roaming the garden. Eve stumbled upon this serpent. Did God really say you couldn’t eat of this tree? Did he really say that you were to stay away? Everything is yours. Why isn’t this tree included? It seemed liked the serpent had a point. It seemed as though Adam and Eve had missed something.

Eve sunk her teeth into that apple. It was eye opening. She shared it with Adam. When she handed it over to him, did he say no? Did he say, “God told us not to eat of it.” No, he took the apple and partook of the forbidden fruit. Why? This is the question that has plagued men for all ages.

It was rooted within Adam, and every man to follow, the need to be wanted. This was a God given need. Before the apple, Adam found satisfaction in God. He found that he lacked nothing. The story began to change for them both. The apple provided something they did not have. It provided them with a desire that God could no longer fill for them. While they were satisfied for a moment, the need for more sank in. They hid.

What was it about this apple that made Adam realize that his greatest need was also his greatest fear? His need to be wanted turned into the fear of rejection. What if God rejected me? What if Eve rejected me if I hadn’t taken the apple. We ask the question now, what if I am not picked to be on a team? What if I get the rejection letter from the college? What if my wife rejects me?

This question has burned our perception of what it means to lead. This question has caused us to retreat into a hole where no one can find us. We became passive, we let others take the reigns. We became bullies when we were forced into something we did want to do. We took that feeling of rejection as the nail in the coffin. Why step up to the plate if I will only get knocked down. This is the question that plagues us today.

In a conversation earlier in the week, a friend told me about a radio interview he heard on the subject. In a group of men, they were asked how important is it to lead your wife and family in prayer and devotions. Mostly the whole room raised their hands. They thought this was very important. They were then asked who actually lead their wives and family in prayer and devotions, and many of those same hands stayed silent.

Men have created a real disconnect between what they believe and what they do. Many Christian men believe its important to be a spiritual leader, but when it comes to the game, they choose to stay in the stands as opposed to playing the game. The fear of rejection from even our spouse may be one of the greatest fears we have. What if she says no? What if I can’t lead her? Is it worth trying?

For you guys, I encourage you to reclaim the confidence we once had before the apple. For you wives, Paul writes in Ephesians to you. He encourages you to respect your husband. He needs to be encouraged, he need to know that you are not rejecting him. He needs to know that he can lead you and that it will be worth it for him. Let him know that you are his biggest fan.

Husbands, its time to come out of the hole. No more excuses. Retake the calling that God has given to you. It’s time to step up to the plate.

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  1. October 25, 2011 at 1:49 pm

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